The Best Man Read online

  “He had to go back to the house for something,” Larry offered, having overheard my father’s question.

  “I remember the first time we brought Andy here, to the beach,” Joy said. Her voice was soft but rang through the night air and successfully halted the conversations of those near the fire. We all turned our attention to Andy’s mother as she smiled and twisted her hands between her knees. “We had just moved to Astoria, and he’d never seen the ocean. He wanted to play in the water so badly!” Larry pulled her jacket up to drape over her shoulders and then dropped his arm supportively around her waist. He smiled as he recalled the memory she spoke of. “We warned him that the water was cold, but he didn’t care. He chased the waves out, and then he turned and ran back, laughing and giggling just as hard as he could...trying not to get wet when the waves chased him back.”

  “He got pretty far out there.” Larry shook his head. “And a big wave came in and knocked him down. He was soaked!”

  “He had been wearing sweat pants,” Joy giggled. “And when he stood up, those wet pants slid right down around his ankles. I don’t know if he was more surprised about that wave, or the fact that he was standing there, completely nude from the waist down!”

  “Wasn’t the last time Andy ran around naked on this beach,” a loud voice called out from beyond the immediate light of the fire, and everyone joined in the laughter. From that point on, everyone took turns sharing fond memories.

  I knew when Samuel joined the group, even before I saw him. There was a distinct change in the air around me, and I looked up to see his familiar form sink to one knee in the sand while he spoke quietly with his father. His shock of messy hair borrowed colors from the fire, and I bit my lip and looked away. When I glanced up again, I saw that he had turned to look in my direction. Our eyes met, and Samuel stared a moment before pulling the side of his mouth up in a slow and small smile. I took a deep breath and returned the gesture.

  “Andy played piano at my sister’s wedding,” a voice said from somewhere behind me.

  “Andy used to help me study calculus.”

  “He always came by to shovel my driveway after my husband passed away.”

  “I was Lily’s roommate,” a quiet voice added to the tribute. My eyes turned toward the girl sitting beside the fire. “She loved him so much. So...so much.”

  Voices called out around the blaze, offering their own examples of how knowing Andy had made their lives a little bit better.

  “Andy introduced me to one of the nicest girls I’ve ever known,” a husky voice spoke out. We all watched the shadowy form approach from farther up the beach, until he was close enough for the light to reflect on his shiny raven hair. Nick strode up in a black leather jacket, with his hands pushed into his pockets. He smiled at me over the fire. “I’m sorry. I got here as soon as I could.”

  I nodded lightly to accept his apology and smiled softly to show my appreciation. I watched then as Samuel walked over to speak quietly with Nick. The two men turned and walked a short distance away, together. Soon, Nick returned and stood to join Zack and Dan where they sat. I didn’t see Samuel.

  “What about you, Emelia?” Dan called over. I turned wide eyes in his direction. It was one thing to listen to other people list the small ways Andy had enriched their lives. But I was wholly unprepared to try to explain what he had meant to me.

  “I...can’t...There’s too much,” I muttered. I put my head down.

  “Pick a memory,” someone suggested. “You two spent a lot of time on this beach. Tell us one of your stories...”

  My cheeks flamed, and I dug my fingers sharply into my jeans. I didn’t want to be put on the spot. Anxiety flooded through me.

  “I might have one,” a velvet voice answered for me. I pulled my head up quickly and looked over. Samuel had returned and sat on the sand, a few feet to my left. He cradled Andy’s old guitar across his legs. “I have one for you, Emelia,” Samuel said, looking over his shoulder at me. I swallowed hard. Samuel was rescuing me again. He plucked at the strings on the guitar while we all watched quietly. He cleared his throat and laughed shakily. “Andy was the musical one in our family,” Samuel said softly. “But he and Emelia and I came down here one day when we were kids. Andy played this song. He tried to teach me later. I’m not very good...”

  Samuel’s fingers roughly began finding the chords to the Beatles song Andy had loved so much when we were young. My throat constricted tightly as I remembered the day Samuel was sharing with everyone.

  Samuel was right. He was nowhere near an accomplished guitarist. But the tune of “In My Life” was easily recognizable, especially when Samuel began singing the words to the familiar song. Though made deeper and fuller with age, I remembered the warm tones he sang with when he was barely sixteen years old. Andy played his guitar, and Samuel sang along while I listened, feeling like the luckiest girl on earth for being allowed to sit next to them.

  Samuel strummed the guitar and sang the simple lyrics to us all. But after the first chorus, I heard his voice crack. My heart lurched. I knew that it was difficult for him to share this moment, and that he was essentially doing it for me. So, I took a deep breath and started the second verse for him.

  I began to sing in a barely louder than a whisper voice. I was a lousy singer, and I knew it. Andy had always teased me about not being able to carry a tune in a bucket. Samuel’s head came up, and he looked at me with surprise when he heard me lending him strength with my tuneless voice. He smiled and joined back in. Then slowly, beautifully...imperfectly and improvised...everyone around the fire joined us. Those who knew the words sang them. Those who didn’t, simply hummed along. It was a musical tribute to the man who, much like music, had woven himself into each of our souls and brought beauty to our world.

  The moment was so sentimental, I felt I might be crushed beneath the weight of it. When the music ended, I patted my father’s hand so he wouldn’t worry, and I stood to make my way silently toward the water.

  The surf was loud in my ears and drowned out the noises from the crowd farther up the beach. I shivered and wrapped my arms around my chest. The crashing waves hid his footfall from me. But suddenly, like before, I knew he was there. I could feel Samuel had joined me on this darkened strip of beach.

  “Thank you,” I said quietly while staring out at the water. He didn’t say a word. I felt him move behind me, so close that his chest touched my back. And then his arms wrapped around mine. His fingers held tight to the sweater at my wrists, and he pulled me back against him. I sank into his warmth and tipped my head back when I felt him lower his face. He rested his cheek against the side of my head, and he breathed heavily into my hair.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stood there like that. I kept my eyes closed and relished the feeling of his chest rising and falling behind me. We didn’t speak. We just took silent comfort from each other. My bones became heavy, and my body sagged. But I locked my knees until they shook and let him lean into me. I wasn’t sure then which of us was holding the other up.

  “I’m tired. I want to go home.”

  “I’ll take you,” Samuel whispered. I nodded and shivered when he pulled his arms away. But he reached down and took my hand in his. I held tight as he avoided the fire and led us up a darkened path to his car.

  “I should let my Dad know that I’m leaving...” I said.

  “He’ll know,” Samuel said. I didn’t have the strength left in my legs to stand any longer. So, I let myself sink into the comfortable leather seat of Samuel’s car.

  In a minute, he was beside me. He turned onto the main road, and his long fingers flipped the switch on the console to force heat from the vents. I had begun to shiver strongly. A combination of the cold, my fatigue, and the reality of the situation shook my body in near tremors.

  “I’m s-s-sorry,” I apologized through my chattering teeth. I was sorry for a lot of things. But mostly because I hadn’t gone to him after I found out about Andy. He was hurting too. And I hadn’
t been there to help him. “I...c-c-couldn’t...” I shook my head and curled in on myself. My hands were pressed tightly between my clenched thighs as I tried to get warm.

  “I needed time too,” Samuel insisted. He looked at me then, with concern on his face. “We need to get you warmed up.”

  Maybe I was going into shock. The car ride home seemed to take only a minute. And then Samuel took my house key from beneath the eave on the porch and opened the door for me. I struggled to follow. My breath hiccupped painfully between my trembling lips, and my muscles were tight and aching from my hunched position. Samuel led me upstairs. I didn’t even stop to question him when he hurried to open the bathroom door and twisted the knobs on the shower to turn on hot water. I gripped the edge of the sink to help me stand, and Samuel frowned at me for a minute.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said. I held on to the cold white basin, shaking, until he returned. Samuel had a couple large, fluffy towels in his arms. He placed the items on the sink and then took my shoulders tenderly in his hands. I let him shift my body back toward him and turn me. And then his hands were at the waist of my sweater.

  Without argument, I raised my arms. Samuel pulled the soft blue material up and over my head. He repeated the process with my T-shirt. I closed my eyes when he lowered himself to the floor. One at a time, he removed my tennis shoes. My stomach pulled in tightly when I felt his fingers on the button on my pants.

  “Shh...” he whispered across my midsection. I relaxed on instinct and let him pull my jeans from my body.

  My tremors had lessened, but I still felt cold. Especially since I was now standing in front of Samuel in no more than my underwear. His warm hands found my shoulders as he stood again. He slowly ran his fingers across my shoulders, down my arms, and across my collarbone. His touch was meant to soothe and reassure. I relaxed and melted in front of him.

  In the next second, my trembling hands reached forward and rested at his waist.

  I opened my eyes and saw the questioning look on Samuel’s face. It was replaced by understanding as soon as my fingers began pulling at the bottom of the sweatshirt he wore. My hands were shaking too badly to be effective, so he helped me. Together, we undressed him until he, too, was standing in front of me in the barest of clothing.

  With my eyes trained on his, I reached one hand behind me and unclasped my bra. I shifted my shoulders forward and let the lacy material slide down my arms. Samuel took a deep breath through his nose but did not remove his deep brown gaze from my stare. Together, we reached and slid our underwear down our legs.

  I felt no trace of embarrassment when Samuel turned and pulled the shower curtain aside, so I could step in ahead of him. It felt natural to be with him this way. I stepped under the hot water and immediately sighed when it stung and heated my skin.

  Samuel stepped into the small space and closed the curtain behind us.

  I turned when he moved forward and shared the water with him. Chest-to-chest, we wrapped our arms around each other and stood under the warming spray. I pressed myself tightly against Samuel with my cheek against his heart and concentrated on holding him together as he was holding me. His head was bent low, and I felt him kiss the skin of my shoulder tenderly. His arms and chest begin to shake then too. I held him tighter, so he could let go. And I let the water hide the tears that I knew we both allowed to escape.

  In a few minutes, Samuel straightened in my grasp. He tilted his face up under the shower head to let the water cleanse his face and push his hair back. At his urging, I released my grip from around his waist. He smiled sweetly at me and turned me under his hands to face away from him. It only took a few seconds before I realized what he was doing. I gave in to the relaxing ministrations of his fingers as he began shampooing my hair. And when he was finished, I tilted my head back under the water and let the fragrant suds travel down my body to the drain near my feet.

  No sooner had I finished than I felt the unmistakable cooling of the water temperature. My shivers had all but subsided entirely, and I wasn’t anxious to let the cold water inspire their return. I turned off the water quickly and moved out of the enclosed space to wrap one of the towels around my body. Samuel imitated my movements and followed me to my room with a towel slung low around his hips.

  I turned in the center of my room and looked at him. My cheeks felt warm, and I inwardly chided myself. It seemed a little silly to feel self-conscious after all that we had been through together.

  “I...um...” Samuel looked nervous and pulled his hand up through his wet hair.

  “I don’t want to be alone,” I said. Samuel’s shoulders fell as he exhaled in obvious relief. And then he stepped forward to stand directly in front of me.

  “I don’t want to be alone either.”

  Samuel’s hands carefully cupped my face and tipped my head back. I watched as he came closer to me, his eyes burning and smoldering...swirling gold and warm brown, desire, and pain...urgency and exhaustion. He searched my eyes also. And when our mouths at last met, our eyes were wide open.

  “Samuel,” I sighed his name against his soft lips. He groaned, and his lashes dropped heavily before he pulled me fully against him. Our mouths met and opened for each other. His tongue pressed warm and teasingly against my own. He was careful. But there was desperation and a hunger in the way he held me. Our breathing became heavy. I gripped the towel around his waist with tight fists and started pulling him with me as I walked backward to my bed.

  Samuel followed when I led. His hands made short work of my towel and flung it across the room. His own covering fell away after a few insistent tugs of my frantic fingers. And then I felt the mattress behind my legs and fell back into it. My fingers in his hair brought him with me.

  Samuel put his hands on my hips and moved us both quickly to a satisfying location in the center of my small bed. And at that exact moment, things changed noticeably. As soon as my head hit my pillow, Samuel paused. With his weight supported on one arm beside me, he pulled his mouth from mine and looked down into my eyes. My breath was literally stolen by the beauty of the man beside me. And he was looking at me...like he felt the same. I struggled to control my body and lay still when he raised one long finger and traced the edge of my lips. He touched the center of my chin next and drew a straight line down my throat to my chest. My lips parted on a sigh when his eyes followed his finger. That one, soft, mesmerizing finger stroked the skin between my breasts before tracing up and over my curves to circle one of my nipples.

  Samuel’s eyes flashed up to mine again then. His hand stilled, but he moved over me, tracing the exact path he had just drawn with the tip of his tongue.

  Around the edges of my mouth...Soft kisses and touches of his tongue on my chin and down my neck. He tasted the skin on the center of my chest before dragging his mouth sideways to capture my nipple between his teeth.

  With a little tug and pull from his lips, I felt my control slip, and I moaned with pleasure.

  He skimmed his nose across my chest while he blazed a path of kisses to my other breast. My hands tangled in the back of his hair while he administered the same attention with his mouth.

  “Perfect,” he whispered against me.

  “Samuel...please,” I breathed. But he wasn’t nearly finished.

  “I want to know you this way,” he explained. And I understood. The last time we came together, we had acted on urgency and were completely driven by lust. This time was different. This time was about comfort and sharing and getting to know each other in a way we never had before. Every part of my body that he touched, he followed with his lips. My fingertips...the back of my knees...His hands explored, and his lips followed.

  Warmth began to build in my chest and radiated outward. Samuel pulled the pain from me with every pass of his lips. Tears slid from beneath my lashes and burned paths toward my ears as his touch acted as brushstrokes...painting over the lonely shades that consumed me with bright and beautiful reds and golds.

  I pulled him
up to me then and kissed his lips in an appreciation that words could never express. And I let my hands slide down his skin, wanting to share the healing warmth he had created. Over his wide shoulders and under his arms, I trailed my fingers down his sides and pressed them into the firm skin at his waist. I repeated the process he had begun, comforting him with my touch and my tongue. I kissed down the center of his chest. But when my nose pressed into the taut skin of his stomach and my tongue teased at the ridge of his belly button, Samuel pulled me almost forcefully back up to his mouth.

  He kissed me deeply and passionately. And with no more preamble, he rolled above me and settled his body between my thighs. I threw my head back in pleasure as the weight of his chest pressed me into my mattress, and he attacked my throat with his mouth. Our hearts beat heavily between us, and our raspy breaths perforated the silence of room. Samuel’s fingers pressed into my cheeks and brought my face down to look at him. And like when we first kissed, our eyes met and held each other’s when he shifted his hips and brought our bodies together.

  I bit my lip, but I did not look away. A million unspoken words were shared. When I lifted my hips against him and pressed my feet into the back of his legs, he opened his mouth. I watched his bottom lip tremble before he tore his eyes from mine and lowered his head to press small, open mouthed kisses along my jawline. Slowly and fluidly, he began to move against me. Deeply and powerfully, he connected us beyond our physical position. I dug my fingers into his back and closed my eyes, hoping that he could feel how much he meant to me...how important this moment was.

  Samuel reached to grab my hands and twisted our fingers together. He placed our hands palm to palm beside my head and thrust his hips against mine. I tightened my fingers in his grip and matched his movements with my own. Of their own volition, our bodies began to move with more urgency, coming together faster, pushing, and pulling...rhythmically searching for the soul-connecting release we both needed. We shared each other’s pain. We shared each other’s pleasure.