The Best Man Page 25

  “I was hurt that you didn’t invite me,” she said quietly. I saw Samuel’s shoulders slump, and I cursed in my mind. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist being a gentleman if she appeared upset. I was right. He raised a hand to her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

  “I didn’t think you’d be comfortable...so soon after we had broken up,” Samuel stated.

  “I wanted to see where you lived. I wanted to see what was so important about this place that you would give up everything we wanted...” Her voice was bitter-sounding, and Samuel lowered his hand.

  “I didn’t give up what we wanted,” he argued. “I gave up what you wanted. I never wanted to work for your father’s firm in New York. We’ve talked about this. My life is here.”

  “I can change what I want.” Patricia rushed with her words. “I can make it work. I can learn to love it here if this is honestly where you want to be.”

  “I don’t want you to learn to love anything.” Samuel shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way, Patty.”

  Like a sick masochist, I watched as she moved closer to him. Her hands slid up his chest and cupped his chin. Samuel turned his face to the side slightly and closed his eyes with a loud exhale. I held my own breath when Patricia touched his throat with her mouth.

  “You don’t know what you’re saying,” Patricia said quietly. Her voice, though muted, cut through the still of the night. It was low, throaty, seductive. “Don’t you remember how good we were? We could have that again. Do you remember the last time we made love?”

  Faster than I could blink, Samuel caught her hands and turned his head toward her. He deliberately pushed her back and held her away from him.

  “I remember exactly the last time we were together,” he said harshly. His tone even made me flinch in his abruptness. “It was New Year’s Eve. And I remember it so well because I damn near had to schedule an appointment with you any time I wanted to have sex!”

  “That’s not true!” Patricia’s voice rose sharply to match his.

  “It’s sadly true,” Samuel insisted. “Everything about us was so planned and organized. So...scheduled. Everything was dictated by you. You can’t tell me you were happy like that. I sure as hell wasn’t. You controlled everything about us. I couldn’t breathe!”

  “What do you want?” Patricia asked. “I don’t know what you want.”

  “I don’t know either.” Samuel tugged his hair and moved around her with angry strides, pacing back and forth before stopping. “Something spontaneous, maybe? Something...fun. Something unexpected. Don’t you want passion in your life?”

  “I don’t understand where all of this is coming from,” Patricia whined. Then with a hard edge to her voice, she spoke again. “It’s that girl. Isn’t it? That girl from next door.”

  “Emelia?” Samuel asked.

  “Yes, Emelia,” Patricia sneered my name. “This is about her.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Samuel scoffed. My heart clenched tightly in my chest. “Emelia has always been like a sister to me.”

  “Maybe in the past...” Patricia said pointedly. “Imagine my surprise. She’s not at all like you described her.”

  “Well, she’s grown up since I last saw her.”

  “And you want her.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Samuel insisted.

  “If she were like your sister, you wouldn’t have been staring at her the way you were all night!” Patricia’s accusing tone caused Samuel to snort loudly. Unfortunately, I snorted out loud at her last comment too. The conversation went silent, and I turned and hurriedly dropped to sit on my bottom with my head hidden under the window ledge. My back was pressed to the wall, and I was breathing heavily, afraid of being caught listening in.

  “Regardless of what I want now...” Samuel began again after a moment. “I know I don’t want this. I don’t want us. And I think if you are honest with yourself, you will find that you don’t want me either. You want the life you thought we would have in New York. But that’s not me. It’s never been me, Patty.”

  “I think...I’m going to call for a cab,” Patricia said instead of answering him. “I’ll get a room in town and go to the airport with Terry and Kendra in the morning.”

  “That’s probably a good idea,” he agreed quietly.

  “Fine.”

  I listened to their retreating footsteps on the porch and blinked in the darkness when the light was extinguished. My heart was still beating rapidly in my chest. I counted in my head slowly, trying to determine if enough time had passed for me to escape. After a few minutes, I slowly crept to the tree house door and turned to lower myself down the steps.

  “As much as I’m enjoying the view, you might as well go right back up.” I heard the deep voice speaking from below me on the tree. I froze with my foot on the step and grabbed the hem of my dress to pull it more closely against my body. I could see Samuel then, standing on the first step to come up. Knowing I had been caught, I sighed and made my way back up into the tree house.

  This wasn’t exactly the time or the place where I imagined Samuel and I would have this conversation. I wasn’t prepared at all. As I turned in a circle in the small confines of the tree house, I was suddenly very aware that my knees felt weak. I took several deep, calming breaths and turned to sit on one of the rolled-out sleeping bags. With my feet on the floor, I pulled my skirt down to cover my knees and wrapped my arms around my legs, trying to control my shaking limbs. Now that the moment had come, I was nervous as hell.

  Samuel climbed into the tree house, and the already-small space seemed impossibly smaller. He looked around for a moment and then lowered himself to sit beside me. His legs were drawn up too, and he rested his elbows across his bent knees.

  “Should I turn on the lights?” I asked quietly.

  “The moonlight is bright enough. I’d rather not announce where I can be found,” Samuel answered. “In case anyone decides to look for me.” I nodded in understanding, and we sat in silence for a moment. “So, you were spying on me again?” he asked.

  “No! I wasn’t! I didn’t mean to...” I quickly shook my head and looked at him in fear that he had misunderstood my motives, but I stopped when I saw the small smile on his mouth. He looked amused, so I relaxed. “Andy and I are going to spend the night up here tomorrow night, before I have to leave. So, I thought I would surprise him by bringing everything up. I...sort of got stuck up here when you came outside. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

  “You heard our entire conversation.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Yes,” I answered, lowering my chin to my arms. “I’m sorry. I should have let you both know I was here.”

  “You didn’t hear anything I would keep as a secret.” Samuel shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

  “I...thought...you know. That you and Patricia...”

  “Were still in a relationship?” Samuel asked. He turned his cheek to look at me.

  “Well. She did tell me she was your girlfriend.” I defended my assumption.

  “She was hoping she could be again,” Samuel muttered. “But you already heard that part.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered again. “Is it...something you would like to talk about?”

  I didn’t expect he would take me up on the offer, but Samuel shifted his legs and then started speaking again. “Patty and I met when I started at Columbia. We dated...pretty seriously. Things started falling apart for us last winter. We finally broke it off early this spring. We...just didn’t want the same things. She always expected that I would graduate and then stay in New York to work in corporate law at her father’s firm. I didn’t want anything like that.”

  “She...sounded like she was willing to make that adjustment for you.” I offered.

  “A person might be able to change where they live, but they can’t just adjust their whole personality,” Samuel argued. “She’s a city girl. She’s spoiled, and she’s used to a certain lifestyle that does not interest
me. And my God, her schedules! I haven’t been able to move or think or just relax in ages. Between my relationship with Patty and working my ass off to finish school with honors, everything has been so planned out. I feel like a spring. I’m so tightly coiled, I’m afraid I’m going to break.”

  “Andy knew you needed this vacation,” I said and nodded with certainty.

  “I really did,” Samuel agreed with a sigh. He pulled his hand up over his face and pushed his hair back in a tired gesture. “I don’t remember when I’ve had so much fun. Spending time with my friends. Going out, drinking, dancing, laughing...I’ve felt alive again. And not like some programmed robot.”

  “I’m so glad.” I grinned.

  “A lot of that...has had to do with you,” Samuel said quietly. He dropped his chin and watched his hands as he played with the tips of his fingers between his knees. My breath caught, and I swallowed hard.

  “I’ve had a great time with you too,” I replied.

  “Sure. When I’m not acting like an asshole.” Samuel laughed bitterly. “I’m so sorry, Emelia. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for...treating you as I have.”

  “The competition is behind us.” I waved off his apology.

  “I was talking about Nick’s party,” Samuel said. He turned and stared into my eyes. An urgency was written on his features that made me pause. “I acted...inexcusably. I’m sorry if I offended you. I hope you can forgive me.”

  I tore my eyes from his and looked down at the floor. My heart started to pound painfully in my chest again, and I bit my lip. The change in conversation could only take me in one direction. So, I turned my face and looked at him again.

  “That all depends on what you are apologizing for,” I said quietly. I watched as pain pulled across his features and clouded his eyes.

  “What do you mean?” Samuel asked. “I was horrible to you. You...slapped me.”

  “I’m sorry for that.” I nodded. “I honestly am. I shouldn’t have slapped you. But what you said...hurt me.”

  “What I said?” Samuel looked confused. “I took advantage of you, Emelia. I kissed you. I deserved to be slapped!”

  “I wasn’t upset that you kissed me, Samuel,” I insisted while I shook my head. “God...I wanted you to kiss me! I’ve wanted you to kiss me...practically my whole life. I was upset because when I finally got my wish, you told me it was wrong!”

  Samuel stared at me, taking in my confession with a confused look on his face. “You...weren’t upset that I kissed you?”

  “I kissed you back,” I pointed out. My cheeks were hot, and I knew I was blushing. But I needed to let him know how I felt. “It didn’t feel wrong to me, Samuel. Not at all.”

  “I thought I freaked you out,” Samuel admitted quietly. “We’re practically family. And then...I basically molested you.”

  “I hate to break it to you, Samuel...” Nervous tension caused me to giggle a little. “But I’ve never thought of you as a brother.”

  “Are you serious?” he asked. He looked up at me again, trying to read my face. I kept my eyes on his, so he could see the truth in my words.

  “I’ve cared about you for as long as I can remember,” I told him quietly. “Not like I care about Andy. It was always different with you. But I was too young for you to see me in any way other than as the little girl next door. Still, I always hoped...someday...” The intensity of his gaze made me feel self-conscious, and I twisted the hem of my dress in my fingers and looked away. Samuel turned my face back toward his with a finger under my chin. My eyes widened as he sat there, studying me in the dark.

  “How could I not have known?” His voice was low and quiet. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I’ll forgive you for screwing up a perfectly wonderful moment,” I joked and pulled my face from his hand. “But if you are trying to apologize for kissing me, you can forget about it. I don’t want to be a regret to you.”

  “You’re not,” Samuel said softly. I looked up into his eyes again. “I don’t regret kissing you. I...just don’t want to disrespect you.”

  I laughed then. I couldn’t help it. I threw back my head and laughed. Samuel looked on, trying to figure out the humor of the situation. Finally, I took a deep breath and became quiet again. The smile didn’t leave my face.

  “Samuel, you challenge me. But how could I ever feel disrespected by you? You’re one of the people who taught me to respect myself! You always encouraged me to be strong and to know my own mind. I am the woman I am today...partly because of you.” I shook my head at the seemingly obvious answer to my amusement. Samuel frowned thoughtfully and turned his head to stare straight ahead. His eyebrows rose when he read the words I had painted on the back of the door.

  Live for the next adventure.

  “Oh, I get it now,” Samuel said softly. “Andy told me today to ‘live for the next adventure.’ I wasn’t sure what he meant. He told me I’d figure it out.”

  “And have you?” I asked with hope in my heart.

  “I’m not sure.” He shook his head. “It seems easier said than done. Got any tips?”

  “Sure,” I said lightly. “You just have to be willing to grab it and go for it when you see it. Before the opportunity passes you by. That’s the key.”

  “How can you be so brave?” Samuel asked with wonder in his voice.

  “I’m not brave. I’m just not afraid to take chances,” I said. “Life is too short.”

  “Is that what all of this is about, then?” Samuel nearly whispered, pointing back and forth between the two of us with a small motion of his hand near his knee.

  “Yes,” I whispered back. “I decided it was time to take a chance.” My breathing sped up at the truth of my words.

  “I...don’t know what you want, Emelia.” He was looking at me again. Before I could lose the bravery he claimed I had, I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his. When he didn’t respond immediately, I felt a crushing disappointment fill my body. I opened my eyes and sat back down, hard.

  “Emelia...I...”

  “Don’t.” I shook my head. In his hesitation, I had the answers I sought.

  “I don’t want you to misunderstand,” Samuel pled. “It’s not that I don’t find you attractive. God help me. I tried not to. At first, I felt horrible about it. But you aren’t that little girl in my mind anymore. I’ve been making myself crazy all summer, trying not to. But you’re just so...”

  “Then, what is it?” I asked, looking up at him.

  “I said I felt like a spring, right?” Samuel asked. He was begging me to understand with his eyes. “I’m so afraid I’m going to break loose. I don’t want to hurt you, Emelia. You’re leaving to go back to Florida in two days. I might know you well enough to treat you with familiarity, but I refuse to treat you carelessly, like a casual fling. You deserve better than that.”

  I bit my bottom lip while I looked at his face. Concern and sincerity were there, mixed with self-doubt. He was terribly easy to read, once he decided to let me in. I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled.

  “I’m all grown up now, and I trust myself to know what I want,” I reminded him. “You just need to learn how to let go and take chances. I’m so sorry that you’ll probably wait until I’m gone before you’re ready to do that.”

  I said all that I needed to say to Samuel. Slowly, I lowered my hand from his face and turned to leave the tree house. I made my way down the steps carefully and then walked on silent feet through the wet grass that covered our joined yards. I didn’t feel sad at the way our conversation ended. I felt...relieved. At least I had told Samuel how I felt. It was a shame he couldn’t let go of whatever it was that was holding him back. But I could have a clear mind, knowing that I did all that I could. The “what-ifs” were officially out there. I could move on.

  I opened the door to my kitchen and stepped inside. Every light in the house was still on. Every window was open. It took only a second to realize that I didn’t hear the screen door slam behind me. I
whirled to see Samuel standing in my doorway, holding the door open.

  “What are you...?”

  Samuel took two fast steps and reached for me. I wasn’t sure if he pulled or if my feet propelled me forward of their own accord, but somehow, our bodies connected. His hands dug blindly into my hair, and our mouths met in a frenzied kiss. This was what I was waiting for. This was the reaction I had hoped to get when I pressed my lips against his in the tree house. Samuel had followed me because he wanted this too. And as before when he kissed me at Nick’s party, when we came together this way, I was instantly on fire. It was as if every cell of my body urged me forward to him. I dared Samuel to take a chance. It was very evident in the way that his mouth took from mine that what he wanted, at least, for now, was me.

  He spun us then, and I found myself pinned against the wall next to the door. I desperately tugged Samuel’s hips until he granted my wish and pressed his body fully against mine. I marveled at how the hard planes of his chest and abdomen matched so flawlessly with the softer swells of my own. My body fit against his perfectly, and I rubbed myself against him, enjoying the feel of it.

  “Damn it, Emelia. You make me want you,” Samuel groaned against my lips.

  His declaration made me gasp. “I want you too!”

  His entire frame stiffened for a moment as my permission registered in his mind. I brought down the walls that held him back. It was okay to want me. It was okay to touch me. I wanted this just as much as he did. He kissed me with a new determination. I tasted it on his lips, and I felt it in his hands. His fingers burned down my arms to my hips, where he held me tightly against him.

  Encouraged by the reaction he seemed to have to my words, I prompted him. “More,” I whispered. We both groaned when his hands moved up my torso, and he palmed my breasts through the thin fabric of my dress. My back arched away from the wall, pressing my flesh into his eager hands.

  “I think...I think...” Samuel was trying to say something, but I wouldn’t have it.