The Best Man Read online

  “I hope it’s okay I tagged along?” I asked.

  “Oh, sure.” Lily waved her hand. “I’m glad you’re here. We might be a little cramped for space, but we’ll figure it out.”

  “We want to go out for dinner. Are you guys hungry?” Andy asked.

  “Starving,” Samuel replied. “I just need to change.”

  “Main bathroom is the first door on the right.” Lily pointed down the hall for Samuel. “Come on, Emmy. You can use the bathroom in my room.” I let Lily pull me by the hand until she shut her bedroom door behind us. “Hello? I know Andy can’t be expected to spill details like this, but why didn’t you ever tell me his brother is so good-looking?”

  “I never thought about it.” I shrugged.

  “And you came as his date?” Lily asked.

  “No. No.” I shook my head. “He was joking around with Andy. We’ve never been more than friends.”

  “Hmm.” Lily’s eyes narrowed, and she tapped a delicate fingertip to her small chin. “Are you sure about that, Em? I mean, I usually get pretty accurate hunches about things like this...”

  “I’m sure.” I rolled my eyes and smiled so she wouldn’t take offense. “If you’re picking up on anything, it’s only because I had a huge crush on him when I was a little girl. But believe me, it was always one-sided.”

  “Maybe, and maybe not.” A small dimple played near Lily’s mouth. “But I’m willing to drop it...for now.”

  “Thanks,” I breathed.

  “You were the luckiest girl in Astoria to grow up next to those two,” Lily giggled.

  “I agree!” She smiled and left me to freshen up in her bathroom. I washed my face, combed out my windblown hair and reapplied a little makeup before donning the pretty summer dress I had packed.

  Lily must have changed clothes while I was getting ready. I was glad she had chosen to wear a casual dress as well, so I didn’t feel overdressed. I was the last to arrive in the living room and felt a little self-conscious. My hand fluttered nervously near my collarbone, and Samuel’s eyes noticed the movement. He walked across the room while Lily and Andy continued to talk quietly and took my hand. His fingers were warm and reassuring around mine.

  “Stop fidgeting,” Samuel scolded. “You look lovely.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered and looked down. “You look great too.” In his jacket, button-up shirt, and faded jeans, Samuel was almost too handsome to seem real.

  “Hey,” Andy said, looking curiously between the two of us and down at the way Samuel was still holding my hand. I sort of wanted to smack him when Samuel noticed his brother’s glance and dropped my fingers. “Since you two seem to be working under some truce or something for the moment, I thought we should go to a little fondue place that Lily has been wanting to try. You know, because fondue originated in Switzerland and all.”

  “Promise me anything dipped in chocolate, and I’m up for it.” Lily nodded.

  “I’ll keep that in mind later,” Andy joked.

  “Ew.” I wrinkled my nose. Samuel laughed and moved to offer me his arm. He raised his eyebrow in a silent question, and I smiled and placed my hand in the crook of his elbow. He’d asked me along to make sure he didn’t feel like the third wheel. I didn’t like the role myself. It seemed to me we could help each other out and just enjoy the evening.

  “Neutral dining it is,” I agreed.

  Lily’s tiny frame fit her very tiny little car. She insisted on driving, and so Andy folded his long legs into the passenger’s-side seat. Samuel and I were fairly cramped together in the back. I didn’t mind. Lily tore down the city streets at a terrifying pace that made me glad my view was partially hindered. The advantage to her driving like a madwoman was that we arrived at the waterfront eatery in record time.

  We didn’t have to wait long to be seated, and Andy and I mostly made faces at one another and tossed things across the small table to amuse ourselves while Lily made good on her promise to get to know Samuel. Ever inquisitive, Lily turned her questions to our shared childhood stories. Eventually, we all were able to laugh and share some of our history with the girl who was about to enter our unofficial family circle.

  I was, perhaps, guilty of being a little too impressed by Samuel’s charm. When he held out my chair and sat close enough for our legs to touch beneath the tiny table...when he consulted me about the menu before placing our orders together, and when he kindly brushed my hair to rest behind my shoulder when it fell too close to the fondue burner...it was easy to pretend that we were on an actual date. I blushed at his attentiveness and had to remind myself he really was just saving me from a fiery accident. He looked out for me like that. Still, I was a bit worried that my appreciation was a little too obvious on my face. Andy kept giving me curious smiles, and I had a feeling I might be in for some hard-core teasing from him later.

  It was too simple to sit back and lose myself while listening to Samuel’s warm voice as he spoke to Andy and his fiancée. From time to time, Samuel’s eyes would find mine, and he would favor me with a little smile. Lily seemed to be paying attention to moments like that too. I didn’t care. I was having such a pleasant time that I would take whatever ribbing I received for it.

  A mixture of cheeses bubbled and simmered in the communal pot on our table, and we carefully speared breads and meats onto the long forks provided. Lily scolded Andy good-naturedly as he bumped her arm while she was trying to dip a bite into the creamy sauce.

  “Will you stop?” she giggled. I reached my fork forward too and smiled at the two of them as they jostled each other back and forth.

  “What is he doing?” I asked, only partially paying attention to the bread I dipped.

  “It’s Swiss tradition,” Andy growled playfully and bumped Lily’s shoulder. “If a woman drops her bread in the pot, she has to favor the men at the table with a kiss!”

  “Since when did you become an expert on Swiss tra—”

  I was cut off when Andy knocked Lily’s arm hard, and both of our forks tangled. She giggled and pulled her fork back empty, but mine was empty as well.

  “Come here,” Andy ordered with a self-satisfied chuckle. He pulled Lily across his lap and stole the kiss he had worked so deviously hard for. My mouth hung open for a minute before I dared to look over at Samuel.

  He sat beside me with a small grin on his face, watching his brother and Lily for a moment before his eyes darted to mine.

  “I...uh...” I stuttered. Samuel just laughed lightly and shrugged.

  “When in Switzerland, huh?” he asked. I swallowed hard. “Let’s go, Emelia,” Samuel teased. “Rules are rules.”

  His playful expression knocked my worry away, and I laughed and rose slightly out of my chair to lean forward. Intent to plant a kiss on his cheek, I was surprised when a large clatter behind our table caused Samuel’s head to turn farther toward me in reflex. His quick movement resulted in my lips pressing against the corner of his soft mouth.

  Our eyes were wide open, unblinking. The surprise I saw in his expression was surely a mirror of my own when I felt the thrilling shock that passed between us during that innocent contact. I gasped at the foreign sensation. He must have exhaled in surprise as well. Our breath mingled. I felt light-headed. Or maybe it was the look in Samuel’s eyes that made me feel dizzy and warm. It was ridiculous. It wasn’t even a real kiss. Yet every nerve in my body suddenly seemed to stretch and pull toward him for more of that wonderful feeling. I blinked and blushed furiously, tearing my eyes away from his to clear my head.

  Flustered, I dropped back into my seat. Samuel and I reached for our drinks at the same time and took deep swallows of the flavored iced tea we had ordered. I caught Samuel looking at me from the corner of his eye. The waiter behind us muttered under his breath while he cleaned up the dropped serving dishes, and suddenly the entire situation seemed too silly not to laugh. A giggle escaped my lips before I could stop myself. Samuel set his glass back on the table and laughed as well. Andy and Lily finally dec
ided they would come up for air and looked at us quizzically over the table.

  “What’s so funny?” Andy asked. Their preoccupation with Swiss tradition had allowed our entire awkward situation to go unnoticed.

  “Nothing.” Samuel shook his head and looked remarkably more stable than I felt. “Let’s order some dessert.”

  After dinner, we were all uncomfortably full. Andy suggested a walk, and Samuel and I strolled along the sidewalk behind him and Lily. The couple in front of us held hands and talked quietly while we followed in silence. Irrationally, I wished that Samuel would take my hand again, as he had earlier in the apartment. I contemplated the danger of harboring such thoughts while I listened to the lull of the quiet voices ahead of us and the soothing sounds of the nearby bay.

  When the strains of music from an outdoor café carried over to us, Andy and Lily stepped together to dance in the shadowy walkway. Samuel grinned at me, and we both moved to stand with our forearms pressed to the guardrail beside us. I stared at the dark water and let the breeze blow my hair behind me.

  “I’m glad you decided to join me,” Samuel said quietly, looking straight ahead as well. I turned my head and watched the breeze play with the ends of his soft hair.

  “I’m glad you asked me,” I told him. “It’s been a lot of fun.”

  “Yes,” he agreed. He turned his head, and he seemed to be studying me across the small space between us.

  “What?” I asked, perplexed by his attention.

  “That shade of blue looks beautiful on you,” Samuel remarked. My breath caught, and he casually looked out toward the darkened water again. A particularly strong wind blew against us, and I twisted my body away from its force. When I did, my skirt blew around my legs. I threw my arms down to trap it against my body. Samuel, ever chivalrous, obviously had the same idea. With the errant material under his hands, I could feel the heat of his palms pressed firmly against the sides of my thighs.

  “Sorry,” I murmured. His eyes were focused on the way the strap of my dress had slid down my arm during my efforts to keep from being totally exposed by the strengthening bay breeze. He released my skirt but only to raise a sure hand to carefully slide the dainty strap back into place on my shoulder. “Thanks,” I whispered. He didn’t reply. My skin tingled where he touched me, and I wished for just a little light so that I could see his expression and have a better idea what he was thinking. His eyes glinted darkly in front of me, and as usual, I was left to imagine the emotions I couldn’t read.

  “The wind is picking up,” Andy said as he and Lily moved over to us. “I think we might get some rain. Are you ready to head back to the apartment?”

  “I think so,” Samuel murmured.

  We walked the short distance to the car. I was shivering a little in the dropping temperature, so I appreciated it when Samuel took off his jacket and pulled it around my body to let me borrow some of his warmth while we walked. And I tried really hard not to read too much into his behavior when he put his arm over the back seat of Lily’s car and nestled me into his side during the drive home. I sat there in the darkness for not nearly long enough, breathing in his scent and trying not to overreact to his nearness. Yes, my imagination was running away from me. He was merely being a gentleman. But it felt good to take the comfort and attention that he offered. I snuggled into Samuel’s side and soaked it up while I could.

  Samuel seemed almost reluctant to release me when we got back to the apartment. For a moment before I pulled away, I could have sworn I felt him inhale deeply with his nose pressed to the top of my hair. I had butterflies in my stomach just from the possibility that his mouth might be close to me again. And a whispering little voice in the back of my head suggested that maybe, just maybe, he was as aware of me as I was of him. While I knew that I shouldn’t...I was helpless against wishing it could be so.

  “I’m beat.” Andy made a show of yawning loudly as soon as we got in the door. It was getting late, and the long drive earlier in the day had taken its toll on me. I wouldn’t complain about an early bedtime. Lily shuffled her feet and looked nervously around her tiny apartment.

  “I don’t have permission to use my roommate’s room while she’s away,” Lily explained. “So, I guess Emmy can sleep with me, and you boys can bunk out here on the fold-out bed...”

  Andy looked crestfallen to be losing a night with his fiancée. Samuel stepped up to the plate for his little brother. “You two can share your room,” he told Lily. “We don’t want to intrude. Emelia and I can share the space out here.”

  “Thanks,” Lily said with a wide grin. Andy seemed happy once again. I was the only one who seemed surprised by Samuel’s offer, though I tried hard to hide it. Andy showed Samuel how to pull out the bed, and I bit my lip nervously, trying to imagine how we would both fit on the tiny mattress. If Samuel only knew the thoughts that had been running through my head all evening, he might not have made the innocent suggestion.

  After they delivered our bedding, Lily and Andy bid us goodnight and disappeared behind the door down the hall.

  “I’ll just...get ready for bed,” I said. Samuel shrugged while casually arranging the pillows. I removed his jacket and placed it across the arm of the sofa before leaving the room. I hurried to brush my teeth, wash my face, and tie my hair back before slipping into my comfortable tank top and boxer shorts. I blushed a little bit about the idea of Samuel seeing me in my ex-boyfriend’s underwear. But hey, it wasn’t like I knew we would be sharing a room for sleeping. And what I wore was hardly indecent. I made my way on silent, bare feet back out to the living room.

  “All yours,” I whispered. Samuel nodded and averted his gaze while I climbed under the blankets and settled onto the bed.

  When Samuel returned, I was the one to stare. He carried his clothes in his arms and wore a T-shirt and boxer shorts that were very similar to my own. I tried to pretend nonchalance as he dropped his items into his overnight bag and moved to lie beside me.

  “Can you reach the light?” he asked.

  “Sure,” I whispered. I raised up and reached behind me to flick the switch on the lamp. I noticed when I did, Samuel had rolled to his side and was watching me just as closely as I had been watching him.

  Logically, I knew I was letting my overactive imagination consider possibilities that were simply not there. However, a tiny, hopeful part of me insisted that there was no way this strange awareness was one-sided. I wasn’t sure what to attribute it to, but it was there like a tangible thing between us. I wasn’t sure when or how it happened. But it was like a third person in the room that we both seemed hell-bent on ignoring.

  The city lights that filtered through the window edged Samuel’s features with a silvery glow. I rested my cheek on my pillow and looked at him as he faced me in the dark.

  “You were right,” he whispered. “Lily is amazing. She’s smart and she’s pretty. And she’s perfect for my brother.”

  “I know.” I smiled. “It’s kind of awesome to see them together.”

  “Do you ever...” Samuel stopped mid-sentence.

  “Do I ever, what?” I urged.

  “Do you ever get jealous? At all?” he asked. I giggled quietly at his question.

  “No,” I said easily. “I mean, wouldn’t we all like to have something so wonderful? Sure. I guess I am envious of what they’ve found in each other. But I am more happy for them than jealous.”

  “That makes sense,” Samuel said quietly. “Sometimes, I think...”

  “Yes?” I breathed. His deep voice whispering through the darkness from just inches away was doing strange things to me.

  “I think maybe we search so hard for that one perfect thing, that we look further than we need to. Sometimes, it’s where you least expect it. Maybe it was in front of your face all along...and you never even knew it.”

  My breath caught painfully in my chest as his quiet words hung in the air between us. There was no other sound but the beating of my heart in my ears. As close to a decla
ration as I could have ever imagined from Samuel...I closed my eyes and let my heart absorb what he seemed to be telling me. When I looked over at him again, he had shifted to his back and was staring at the ceiling once more with his arms bent and his hands hidden beneath his pillow.

  “Are you referring to anyone in particular?” I asked. I silently willed him to speak the words I had been waiting forever to hear.

  “I don’t know,” Samuel said. I could see his jaw tense while he pressed his lips together before he spoke. “Consider Nick, for instance,” he said with a deep voice. “You knew him in high school, but you didn’t even remember him. Yet he wasted no time at all in asking you out when he saw you again. Obviously, he thinks something is there or that there could be. Even if you hadn’t really noticed him before.”

  My hopes plummeted at the shift in conversation. He had been speaking about Nick?

  “He asked me to be his date for the party tomorrow night,” I said in a strangled-sounding voice. I felt like I was drowning in disappointment.

  “We should get some sleep, then,” Samuel said distinctly. “It will be a long drive home and another long evening once we get there.” His voice had a hard edge to it that unfurled a painful ache in my chest.

  Samuel rolled to his other side, and I stared at the dark curve of his back in front of me.

  I promised myself when I was sixteen years old that I would never again be hurt because of my silly, unreciprocated feelings for Samuel Dalton. Yet one day of working beside him, laughing, and talking; one evening of sweet looks and friendly touches; one almost-kiss...and my heart betrayed me. I opened myself back up to those girlish fantasies and the possibilities that he might care for me as more than a friend. And while I cursed my fickle heart in the darkness and tried not to cry on my borrowed pillow, he had no idea about his effect on me. We were lying so close, I could have easily reached out to touch him. But inside, he was a million miles away. I bitterly remembered the lesson I had learned all those years ago. If it didn’t hurt so much, they wouldn’t call it a “crush.” He offered me friendship—and nothing more. The pain felt exactly the same.